Martha Brockenbrough
When All Else Fails: Dating Tips From the Animal Kingdom

When I look back on a certain time in my life, I think of it as the Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman year. That TV show aired on Saturday nights, and I managed to watch an entire season without missing an episode. The significance of this, of course, is that I went an entire year without a date.

This wouldn't have been a big deal if I was 12, and too young for dating. But I was 26, and everything I'd ever seen on TV led me to believe that these were my golden social years.

Therefore, I sympathize with people who can't seem to find a date. It happens, even to those of us who bathe regularly, pay all our bills, and know how to make pie.

Send Martha Mail
Got a dating question for me? Or a plain old question about anything else? Send me mail and I'll see what I can do.

I've talked with single friends who are bordering on desperation over their lack of dates. It makes me wonder: Do animals ever feel this way? You don't see dogs searching the online personals. Moles don't ask their friends to set them up on blind dates.

I have a theory that animals are just better at finding mates than humans. It's a completely nonscientific theory, which, as a Classics major, I am free to form.

Can humans learn something about the dating world from animals? If you think your love life could use a boost, take a lesson from lions, tigers, and bears. After all, could it be any worse than staying home and watching Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman reruns?

Problem No. 1: You can't find anyone eligible
The next time you find yourself complaining that you can't find anyone to date, stop. You're approaching it all wrong. It's not that you can't find anyone suitable: The problem is, no one can find you.

The grizzly bear does not have this problem. Grizzlies start from a much tougher spot than humans. Earth is crawling with people. Grizzlies, on the contrary, are an endangered species.

What's more, they're not exactly social butterflies. They keep to themselves, and they don't make a big scene. And yet, they still manage to hook up. Scientists believe the trick is for the female grizzly to leave a trail for the males to follow. So, if you're sitting in your house watching Dr. Quinn, you're not leaving a trail--except the one between the couch and fridge. Who do you think you're going to meet there?

Want to Learn More?

Not all brown bears are grizzly bears--or even brown.

See beautiful tiger photos.

Read about the tiger's love life.

Or, read about human courtship practices: Would you like your parents to arrange a marriage for you?

Grizzlies aren't the only animals that do this. Male tigers spray urine on tree trunks to warn off other males and attract females. Tigers of both sexes also attract each other by roaring loudly. While roaring might not sound fun to you, the point is that tigers aren't moping around the savannah. They're mixing it up and putting their mark on the world--even if it is a stinky one.
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